


I’m Standing Here Outside Your Door

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order
Genre: Drama, Episode: s18e10 Tango, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-16
Updated: 2010-08-16
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6940627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because if he could do that to her, eyes wide open, he wasn’t the man she thought he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’m Standing Here Outside Your Door

**Author's Note:**

> You can blame John Denver and my iPod for the title. I’m still getting to know these characters so this might be way off base. Sometimes it needs to be written anyway. Practice makes perfect. This is my 1st official Law and Order fic. I'm really proud of it. All fault is mine if the characters might seem off...I dont know them very well yet. But we all have to get out of the gate with that first one.

Connie opened the door for the third time and he was still sitting out there. Executive Assistant District Attorney Michael Cutter was sitting on the floor outside of her apartment door. She crossed her arms.

“Go home, Mike.” She said, unable to hide the exasperation in her voice.

“No. I want to talk to you.”

“Well I don’t want to talk to you. I thought I made that abundantly clear.”

“Connie…” he attempted to stand.

“Stop. Do you want me to call the police?”

“You wouldn’t do that. You would do that?”

Rolling her eyes, Connie went back into her apartment and closed the door. She leaned on it and closed her eyes. He needed to go away. What made him think she was just going to forgive him? Ray Campbell was a really creepy guy.

That wasn’t the total problem…Connie encountered plenty of creepy guys in her day. He was a juror on a trial who Mike dangled her in front of like a bone. The worse part was he’d been doing it from the very beginning. She’d objected in voir dire and he dismissed her objection. He sat beside her day after day and let some other man fantasize about her.

Then he stuck the final knife in her back and made her put on a show for the creep. He did it willingly. He gave her compliments too; made her feel good about herself to bolster her ego so he could win a case. It was disgusting; it bordered on unethical. And worse of all, it truly hurt her feelings. Mike didn’t mean the nice things he said about her; he only wanted to win his case.

He tried to justify his actions by accusing her of doing the same thing. She hadn't done that, and even if she had it didn’t make his actions OK. Jack backed him up and that enraged Connie. She hated them, she hated men, and she wanted to go out there and kick Mike in the nuts. Because if he could do that to her, eyes wide open, he wasn’t the man she thought he was. He wasn’t the man she thought she might be falling in love with.

“Connie.” Mike stood on the other side of the door. He placed his open palm on the wood. “Please let me in. I just want to talk. I'm sorry; I just want to talk.”

She walked away from the door and went into her bedroom. This was too much and she couldn’t deal with it right now. Her mind was on fire…so many thoughts and feelings threatened to overwhelm her. Connie had to get herself together. He didn’t deserve her anger or her sadness.

He was a jackass. She knew that, and let him in anyway. No, he wasn’t a jackass all the time. In fact he had never truly been a jackass. The issues they had with law were just that, issues with law.

Mike wasn’t always Cutter. She knew another side of him. Connie thought there might be a real chance of getting to know that side better. Now he showed a side of Cutter that threatened to destroy it all.

She couldn’t think about it anymore. It just made her feel stupid. Grabbing the Blackberry from her nightstand, Connie took a deep breath and hit 3. The phone rang a few times and then a woman answered.

“Mom? Hey Mom, it’s Connie. I know it’s a little late but I need to talk. I had a really, really bad day.”

***

It was 2:52am when Connie woke up. She’d talked with her mother for about an hour, popped some Motrin PM and then lay down to get her mind in shape. She didn’t know when she fell asleep but she had. It was nowhere close to morning; she was hoping she wouldn’t be up for the rest of the night. Getting out of bed, Connie started back toward the living room to turn out the lights.

The place seemed bright as hell…she wasn’t used to lights at this hour. A cup of tea might help in the battle to return to bed. She put the kettle on and then went to the door. He wasn’t still out there, she was sure, but she slid both security locks back and opened the door.

Michael Cutter was asleep by her front door. He was leaning against the wall, head back and mouth slightly open. His knees were pulled up and his arms were crossed over his chest. Without her consent, a smile flickered across her features. So did the instinct to kick him awake…hard.

Connie crouched down, placing her hand on his shoulder. It wouldn’t be the first time she had to wake him. Their preferred way was a kiss. That hadn't been the practice for long; it wouldn’t be at all tonight.

“Mike,” she whispered close to his ear. “Mike, wake up, it’s after two in the morning. Mike?”

He didn’t seem to hear a word she was saying. The kettle began to whistle and Connie knew she had to get off of the stove. She should just leave him out here until morning. A stiff neck, back, and knees would serve him right for what he’d put her through. She tried to ignore just how adorable he was while he slept. She took a deep breath and shook his shoulder hard.

“Huh?” Mike woke abruptly, turning to look at her. They were so close their noses practically touched. He leaned just a bit closer but Connie stood up.

“Go home, Mike…it’s three in the morning.”

“It’s what?”

Sighing, Connie just went back inside and closed the door. She went to the stove to turn off the kettle and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet. Within a few minutes, Mike was in her apartment. He locked the door behind him.

“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked.” He said, shuffling into her kitchen. Everything was sore; chiropractor call sore. He probably deserved it. “We live in a dangerous city.”

“Yes I know. Obnoxious men can just walk in off the street anytime they feel like it.”

“I deserve that.” Mike nodded, sitting down in a stool by the counter.

“You deserve more. What the hell were you thinking?”

Connie dropped two sleepy time tea bags into the mugs and poured hot water over them. Then she joined back at the counter. She watched him lean in, cupping his hands over the top of the cup. She had no idea what he was doing but the steam seemed to give him a little life.

“I wasn’t thinking. What I did was inexcusable.”

“Don’t use reverse psychology on me, Mike.”

“I'm not. I was an idiot; I need you to forgive me.”

“It’s not that easy. Why did you do it? You can't just do crazy things to win cases and violate a trust between us. That trust has nothing to do with anything that may have been happening personally. It’s a professional trust, Mike. How do I know the next time you compliment my skills in the courtroom it won't be because you want some juror to ogle me and rule in your favor? It might even be some judge or some reporter.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“You did it this time!” Connie tried and failed to check her tone. “You could’ve done it before.”

“I have not.” Mike shook his head. “I mean that; I haven’t. There’s no excuse, Sway. I was being single minded and selfish and dumb. I lured in some man for a reason I'm not even sure of and then he approached you. He could’ve hurt you…we don’t know anything about him. I allowed it to happen to win a case. I'm sorry.”

“You're not allowed to call me Sway when I'm contemplating punching your lights out.” She replied.

“If that’s what it takes for you to forgive me.” Mike tapped his nose. “Give it a go. I won't stop you.”

Connie shook her head, walking away from the counter. She had a tight grip on her mug as she paced between the living room and the kitchen. She couldn’t help but remember the first time he called her that; the first night they slept together. It was another take on her given name, Consuela, and it made Connie weak in the knees. Mike was good, he was smooth, but she wasn’t falling for it tonight. Like everything else thus far in their relationship both in and out of 100 Center Street, the man wasn’t about to play fair.

“Consuela,” he got up from the counter too. He stopped her pacing with gentle hands on her shoulder. “Consuela, saber mi alma precioso uno(1).”

“Stop…” She closed her eyes as he gave her Eskimo kisses. He knew speaking Spanish was one of her weaknesses. He would never admit to taking intensive courses because he was jealous both Green and Lupo could speak her native tongue.

“Forgive me.” Mike whispered, his lips lingering close to hers. “I'm so sorry and I mean that. I wish there was something else to say.”

“Well there isn’t.” Connie moved away before the musky smell of his skin pulled her under. No man ever smelled as good as Mike Cutter…and Connie knew a lot of men. “You need to go home, Mike. We both have to be at the office early. Let’s not do this right now. It’s won't end well.”

“I need to back off?”

“Yes.”

“I need to give you space?”

Connie nodded.

“So I guess asking if I could crash on your couch is out of the question? I'm exhausted; don’t know if I’ll make it home.”

Connie rolled her eyes, going to the hall closet for a pillow and blanket. Mike smiled when she handed them to him.

“I appreciate you not leaving me in the hallway.”

“Goodnight, Mike.”

She went to walk away but he took her hand. He felt the butterflies in his stomach when their fingers laced. He just wanted to feel her skin, her warmth. He pulled her hand to his lips.

“Goodnight.”

Connie walked away and Mike looked at the couch. At least it was comfortable…sort of. He threw the pillow down and then lay on the cushions. Groaning, Mike threw the blanket over himself. He would back off; he deserved her anger.

What had he been thinking? It was stupid. She could’ve left him out there. Maybe she should've left him out here. A dull ache formed in Mike’s head and stomach at the thought of losing her trust and fondness.

He’d barely gotten out of the starting gate and he’d already tripped over his own ego. There weren’t many ways to fix this. He was going to have to be patient—ha—and give Connie space and time. Everything that happened was his fault and he would own it; he would fix it. Losing was not an option. Losing Connie…he couldn’t bear the thought of it.

***

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Know my soul precious one.


End file.
